Brain Storm: Friends and Life

A while ago I had a chat with a friend regarding the meaning of life. He lamented how life feels empty because he doesn't really know who is still in his life. There's no permanent residents in his life, people come and go, being single and all. The times he meet up with his close friends back in secondary school is few as well. As do I.

I think it's pretty safe for me to say that I have very close friends from secondary school. I have a set of friends whom I make an effort to meet up once in a while. It's true we don't meet as often as close friends would. We all get really caught up in our own lives and we're no longer each others' priority. Admittedly, we even let each other slip out of our minds sometimes. But does it really matter? I think at the end of the day, true friends are those who don't forget about each other and will always be there when I need them. That'll be good enough. I know that when I really need help, I can count on them. And they know it too. When we can help it, we will make an effort to meet up. Sure some of my friends see me about twice a year. But we have already made it a ritual to meet up as soon as one party is free. And that party will haunt the other until he/she agrees to meet up. Such is my life, and I'm satisfied with it.

I think no matter what there will be definitely be people in your life. They may not be as close to you compared to your previous friends, but they occupy most of your time at present. So you can't really say there is no one in your life. An empty shell is what you make of it. Those people you are close to now may go away eventually. But this is precisely the time to try and make them stay, vice versa isn't it? My secondary school friends didn't appear to be permanent residents of my life when I was in secondary school. Maybe I'm only spending time with my university friends because I have no choice since I am in university now. Maybe not. Time will tell.

As we proceed to the next stages of our life, the people in our lives will change. Some will go and some will stay. But I won't be dejected. Just because the previous group of friends didn't work out as permanent residents doesn't mean the next set will be the same. Everyone is different. Superficiality is as far as you want it to be. Of course it depends on the other side too. But your attitude will affect the others, and an effort is neede. And I think everyone need to keep in mind that a few good friends is good enough. Why do you need so many good friends for? For your facebook collection?

Friends are who we can count on in our lives. I think life partners and friends come by a different means. Your lover loves you for who you are, thinks your flaws are your strengths and an overlook your problems. For me, I accept my friends for who they are, but if they have problems, I will condemn it, though I'll still be there for them. At the end of our lives, friends will be our only prized possessions. And only then you can truly see how many lives you have touched during your time. And whether they take up a 1 quarter of your time yearly in your life or merely 1 or 2 days, I still consider them part of my life, never gone.

Brain Storm: Settling

They say "sometimes in a world of a million, all you need is one". But there are 6 billion people in this world. How would you know who is "the one"?

When I was confiding my problems to one of my friends, we came across the topic of settling down. He said that many of his friends had already gotten married and many times it is because those people have felt age catching up and decided to choose the next easiest prey to marry. This concept of settling, in my friend's term, is the act of "making do with something less than you deserve". And many times we argued and discussed the idea of settling and settling down.

He never imagined himself to settle for less in his life. After all, why would you shortchange yourself? I guess there are many schools of thought. Aside from shortchanging, there's also a concern of not knowing until you try, and also if the person is "the one". I'm of course talking about the state of mind one should have when dating or when marrying. Commitment is not just spelled with time and effort, but also sacrifice. I think it's quite possible for one to fall for more than one person. And perhaps there is indeed someone who is perfectly meant for you. But many times a person would not be able to tell if the attached is the one and only. When someone better comes along, hearts are wavered and the main question is, "do I settle?" Would you settle if you can't tell if your partner is the one? Would you settle if you would have never known otherwise how it would have turned out?

Whether you settle or not, you have to be able to convince yourself. How many people can mention true love as the reason to stay? How convincing would that be if someone really good comes along?

But there is no conclusion to the discussion I had with my friend. In the end, time waits for no man. Would you risk the possibility of not ever finding "the one"? Would you break a million hearts just to find one meant for you? Would you not settle for less because you think too highly of yourself? Or is love so blinding that it depends on the intensity?

So we concluded the infinite possibilities.
Perhaps time is of essence, so we should have to eventually settle.
Perhaps there is no right answer, and you would only find out when it happens to you.
Perhaps one fine day, you will realise that a conviction has to be made, not out of pure true love, but out of consideration for both of you.
Perhaps one fine day, you will realise that it's never just about yourself.
Perhaps one fine day, you will realise that you are old enough and wasted enough time.
Perhaps one fine day, you will realise that peaceful bliss is better than a torrent of emotions.

And maybe some people are lucky. And maybe some people are totally unlucky. And maybe one day you'll settle for me.