.

I'm again reminded of my failure. Thinking back, everything went downhill ever since I went to university.

My grades are like shit, my leadership abilities dipped (if it was even there in the first place), I can't make new friends, I have tons of relationship problems, my finance is horrible, I'm unmotivated, and I can't even plan a birthday dinner properly.

Then I keep wondering why am I such a loser, and how everyone strays from me the minute they know I'm a failure.  Maybe pissing people off is all I know. I lack discipline, I'm not loyal, and I abandon people once I get what I want, I crave like a maniac when I can't get what I want. My stalkerish behavior throws people off, scare others and makes me extremely distasteful. My geekyness turns people off and on top of that, it's not even real geek that I am, all I know is superficial knowledge.

So how like that? Wandering in my life, no aim at all, keep doing things which I know will end up in a deadlock.