Brain Storm: The Flow Of Time

I spoke to Leonard just now (ok, on msn i mean), for like, 3 hours plus. We talked about many things. Our topics jumped, literally so, from relationships, maturity, growing up etc. It ended with me saying "given 4 or 5 years ago, we couldn't have this conversation. this is a sign of maturity".

Time passes. It can never be "time passed" because time never stops flowing. It's been 7 to 8 years since I know my closest group of friend. I daresay we've watched each other grow up. Some of us got into relationships, some of us are still spouting vulgarities around (like me, ok i meant one of us). With that, we started talking about how it'll be like when we find the "one", and how we will act like. Funny isn't it. We've known each other for years. We had classes together, sat beside each other, went to camps together, slept on the same beds, talked through the night, shower-sang together but there's still so much to know, still so much to grow.

When years have gone by, from time to time, I like to look back. Looking at photos, reading chat logs and blogs, these things bring me back. I like to go from segment to segment, time frames which describe my own growth, my development in my heart, my soul and my personality. I wonder if my friends noticed my change in personality. I wonder if they saw that I have mellowed, from an angry kid, who used to flare up over little things, who used to be weak, seeking attention all the time, to someone who can stand the wind, who walk the rain alone, knowing that yet I am not lonely, convincing myself that there's more than just me. Or have I? Growth cannot be ascertained by oneself. How naive can I be, to try and tell myself that I have changed and have grown up? There can be no absolute terms. Mellowed I may have, but still the wind gets stronger, still the rain gets heavier. I wouldn't know, I couldn't. Maybe everything is based on a spectrum. Maybe everything is not the same as how you see it compared to others.

Maybe the spectrum is stretching till never ending. Maybe the flow of time is never forgiving.