My workplace is a very interesting place, filled with interesting people, doing and implementing interesting things.
1) Daily checks on manpower
Every morning when we report for work, we have to gather at the lobby of our company and sort of report to our department in-charges. Then the in-charges for the departments will go forward and report the manpower of each department to the sorta-assistant-of-CEO and he will write down on piece(s) of paper. Then we will go for breakfast at the canteen in my workplace. The interesting is, an hour later, we have to gather again to do the exact same thing. When the in-charges report again, the assistant had to take down everything again, as if the whole manpower status changed. (psst, actually i know that he used it to wipe his backside...)
Also even though they claim that they are telling the assistant the manpower status, it always take very long. The workers such as myself have come to an understanding that the assistant is actually asking for the latest food haunts that the in-charges of went to. As the in-charges of each department changes everyday, the assistant can actually gather quite a lot of foodie information. Whenever the in-charge is not able to give the full details of the place/price/food range etc, the assistant will be very angry while the in-charge tries to remember. When he finally gives up, he turns to his worker for help, and eventually walks back to his department in shame, trying to remember the rest or ask whether any worker knows anything about it or not.
2) Weekly Fitness Day
My company takes care of our well-being and make us do exercises frequently. So there's this day, actually today, where we went for a run. The superiors sorted us according to running abilities and i went to the average one, supervised by this worm-breeder. As my friends and myself were feeling quite slack, we ran quite slowly. After we ran for 10mins, the breeder turned to us, smiled cheekily, and said "com'on just a bit more only". His face actually meant "i know you guys are tired, i am too, but we only have a bit more too go, i am sian about it too". May i be forgiven for i have sinned, as i immediately laughed out loud and my friends were surpressing it too. The reaction from us was like "So You Think You Can Run? HAH!" I wasnt even trying, my friend. Us being slack doesnt mean we cant run.
On the same run, one of the higher ups came to join us to run and he constantly spoke to a fellow worker. My colleagues and I were running right behind and i made a comment about the weather. The higher-up immediately told me that if i still have the breathe to talk then something is wrong. Hmm, i was just following the slow pace of the breeder, i didnt think it was wrong for me to be far fitter. And werent he talking too? So much for being a superior specimen example.
3) Last Minute
The CEO said that we can go home earlier today. There was so little work that i dozed off at my table for 3 hours. Suddenly (the breeder) came into my room without knocking and told me to get ready for the fitness day at 4.15pm. I was still dreaming about knocking off at 5pm. Then the breeder slammed my door, blind to the new sign i just pasted on my door saying "please be gentle with me, i am just a door". After the run, suddenly my department in-charge had a load of stuff for my department to do. Early became later. How efficient.
4) Bread
This morning at breakfast, the canteen provided some free-for-all bread and i decided to bring one loaf back since i have some bread spread at my table and my department thought it would be nice for us all. On my way back to my department, some worker from another department saw me holding the bread and starting making interesting comments like "wah stealing from the canteen ah?" "wah they all not even rich enough to buy bread" etc etc. When i was at the lobby, one of them came beside me and asked me why i took the bread. I knew i should have ignored him but i still told him the reason. He said something like "steal bread say steal bread lah". My friend commented that i shouldnt have wasted my time on attitude-problem-losers but i told him that if i dont try to educate these attitude-problem-losers then they would be very pitiful. I should at least try and i wont feel as bad even if it failed.
I shant say no more, else it will begin to sound more stupid than interesting.