This is wrong.
Moments ago I went to my friend's 21st party invitation page on Facebook. One of his friends wrote "I'll ask around to see whether the rest are going okay?" and another wrote "I'll confirm with you when the date's nearer". Now, I'll assume his first friend's response meant he wants to check if other people are going first before confirming his attendance.
Case 1
Refer to my post http://infinitelyme.blogspot.com/2010/02/brain-storm-ill-be-there-for-you-not-be.html
When you are invited to a big party, chances are you are highly valued by your friend. I mean, nobody would want to invite someone he doesn't like right? (unless you are the only person disliked by him in the whole group and he sees a need to not leave you out) Especially on someone's 21st party, I think it is not too much of a point whether your other friends are going or not. Heck, if you think you're not too close to the host and feel that you will only be comfortable with going with other friends, you bloody keep that to yourself. When Jason told me that he doesn't want to go for my birthday party cause he's not close to my friends, he knows very well that if he doesn't turn up, he probably have to treat me at some high class restaurant and sing me a birthday song himself. So unless you think it'll work out like that, you shouldn't tell the host that you want to KIV (keep in view) his party. It's plain rude.
Case 2
If there's a reason why I sent out my invitation well a month before my party, and why my friend sends out his invitation 1.5months before, it is to book your stupid ass. The reason for early notification is so that we can get you to write in your calender that "yes, techiewen has asked me out on this day 1 month ago so he should have priority". We aren't unreasonable bastards. If something truly important pops up, like your girlfriend is having her period and needs someone to bite on, fine. If you havn't seen your boyfriend for 2 days and he suddenly says "oh babe I miss you and I want to have sex with you right now" and you can't turn up for the party, so be it. These important reasons mean your backing out can be forgiven. It makes sense doesn't it? That when someone books you way in advance, it is only right that you give him your time. If your other bitch friend comes along the day before and say "hey let's go for a movie!", you mean that's more important and deserves more priority? If truly on that day you have nothing on, agree to the party first if you so want to go. Any thing that pops up urgently can be explained. If not, just keep your loose hole of a mouth shut instead of telling your friend that you're going to KIV his party.
I didn't asked you for your time a month in advance to get pang seh-ed cause you're menstruating or cause you need to go find prostitutes.
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